Borrowing from the much-troubled “Food For Oil” deal, President Bush announced a proposed deal with France that he believes will help restore the close bonds that the U.S. and France once had.

“I have sent a dispatch to Paris,” Bush said in an afternoon news conference. “I did this because Jack has changed his phone number and won’t call me anymore.”

Bush went on to describe the plan: “I call the plan ‘Potatoes For Fries’,” Bush said. “We’ll send them our world renewed Idaho taters and they’ll send back their famous French fries… It’s time to heal the hurt between our two great nations.”

Bush’s plan, which calls for “oodles” of potatoes to be shipped to France in barges and returned as French fries, was hatched over a plate of golden crinkles one Saturday afternoon, aides say.

“I’m also planning on inserting a secret paragraph about getting some of their latrine water for free,” Bush added. “The ladies go crazy over that stuff for some reason.”

When a reporter asked if Bush meant “toilet water”, Bush responded proudly that “over there they call it a latrine. Not a toilet, son.”

“I look forward to the day when we can work hand-in-hand with our friends the French. That’ll be the day when our ports will be full of barges leaded with French fries.”

— staff reporter — bs